Why I want to get married

Before you freak and say "oh great, another 20-something girl desperately seeking marriage," hear me out. I WANT THE PRESENTS.

Specifically, the KitchenAid Stand Mixer. In lime green please.
It's kind of a ridiculous purchase for someone living alone to have, so I'm thinking a wedding is the perfect way to get it. Gotta love registering for gifts. I see myself spending weekends in the kitchen baking cakes, trying new recipes, and hosting dinner parties prepared with my beautiful mixer.

I'm thinking I may just get a boy on the street and ask him to marry me. We can register for all the things we both want, then go our separate ways.

Carrying the Banner

I first discovered Newsies when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, and my mom let me choose the movie to rent on some Friday night. It was the beginning of multiple obsessions: Christian Bale, catchy song and dance numbers, and unions. :)

In a moment of nostalgia I put it in my Netflix queue, and just watched it tonight. Truly, it's just as good as it was way back in 1992. I definitely still know all the moves to "Seize the Day" from my jr. high show choir days. Awesome.

I was surprised to see that this was one of Disney's lowest grossing films. Everyone I know loves it, but hey, we were kids, and suckers for a song and dance. The whole Broadway Disney crew needs to get working on a live action version to open about 10-15 years from now. I guarantee every person my age will totally take their kids to see it, just to relive their childhood. It'd make a killing.

My New Favorite Chicken

Those that know me, know that I'm kind of one of those girls who finds a recipe and sticks with it forever. I eat my mom's "Italian chicken" at least once every two weeks, usually once a week. It's not that I don't like new food, it's just that when you're cooking for one, doing fat camp (my secret code for Weight Watchers), and on a tight budget, it's a giant pain in the ass to make an entire dish, find out you don't like it or end up having to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until you're sick of it.

That being said, I was trolling fat camp boards the other day and found a recipe that's crazy yummy and beyond easy.

Ladies and Gents, Diet Coke Chicken:
chicken breast
1/2 cup Diet Coke
1/2 cup ketchup

Brown the chicken in a skillet coated with Pam. Mix ketchup and Diet Coke in bowl until smooth. Place chicken in deep baking dish and pour mixture over chicken. (Make sure your baking dish is small enough that the mixture will cover the chicken) Place in preheated oven at 375 and bake for 45-60 minutes. Let stand for five minutes then serve.

Very delicious--a tangy sweetness and very low in points too!

I'm too old for this shit!

Oh, Danny Glover. Truer words were never spoken. This past weekend I made the trek back to my college to see some old friends and "celebrate." While it was undeniably a good time, I realized that I am beyond past my college years. It's been 2 years since I was a student, and apparently I aged more in those two years than I have in my entire life.

It's weird when you realize a part of your life is truly gone. There have been times since graduation that I've thought how great it would be to back in school, but this weekend, I realized that there's no way I could ever go back. While it makes me sad to realize that an era is officially over, I'm also pretty happy. I don't think I ever want to get to a point in my life when I go "Oh XYZ were the best days of my life." I feel like that is a pretty depressing thought. I'm 24 and if I'd already peaked, what would I have to look forward to?

Once again, a musical sums up my life perfectly. Avenue Q's song I Wish I Could Go Back to College has been in my head for awhile now, and I finally found the original cast singing it on Regis and Kelly. It's a crazy shitty version seeing that someone literally taped the tv screen AND the pianist fucked up and skipped 4 bars in the beginning, but at least it's something.

Pachelbel Rant

I've seen this a million times and I don't care. It's still the funniest thing ever.

CPD 1 Cougar 0

Jesus, who would have thought a 123 pound cougar could have the entire city of Chicago up in arms!? If you don't know the whole story, a cougar was spotted within city limits, police kinda sorta tracked it/tried to find it all day, and then around dinner time, had it corned, it lunged and they shot it.

Well that shooting has everyone in an uproar for no good reason (imo). "Why couldn't they have used a tranquilizer dart?" "Where was animal control?" "The police acted too hastily." etc, etc. Yesterday at 10:00 am, there were already 700+ comments to The Tribune's article. I never knew it but apparently there are some very cougar passionate people within the city limits. Today, The Tribune even had an editorial that stupidly claimed CPD needs to have a policy/procedure in place for "the next cougar."

Now this is the first siting of a cougar in this area in 150-some years, and while our Field Museum scientist says this will probably be happening more often as cougar population increases, I don't think we need to be working diligently for a "procedure." I'm thinking CPD has better ways to spend time/money. From what I've read and heard, there was a procedure. Animal control and cops were both looking for the animal, cops found it first. Even if animal control HAD been there, a tranquilizer, probably would not have been the best option. Tranqs take 10-20 minutes to take effect, and an animal like that can still do serious damage once shot. Would these people have preferred the headline to read "Cougar shot with tranq dart attacks cop/small child/dog/WHATEVER"?!?! It just seems that our priorities are all out of whack.



After listening to our scientist Bruce Patterson talk to media and the entire Museum staff about the cougar, I am even more convinced that the police made the right decision. And as Dr. Patterson pointed out this morning, there is a HUGE outcry over one cougar, but what about the forests that are being torn down every day, displacing animals and throwing things off balance? No one seems to complain about the deer that lost its home, or the wolf that lost its hunting ground when said person moves into his brand new home with the manicured lawn. Just something to think about.

No More "Smut" in Bookstores

A new law on the books in Indiana will fine businesses that sell "sexually explicit" material, but according apparently the definition of explicit is anything but. The Chicago Tribune reports
businesses wanting to sell said material will have to pay a $250 fee, or be faced with $1000 fine and up to 180 days in jail.

There are already challenges to the bill, and I really don't see how this will actually pass. Then again, it is Indiana, and having lived there for four years, I can attest that crazier things have happened.

A Wonderful Gym Story

Gaper's Block is fabulous and the proof is in this great column "Looking Better Naked" about the joys and miseries of going to the gym.

How to Tell a Boy You Like Him

I just found instructions on Wiki-How instructing all clueless pre-teens how to tell a boy they like him. The rules seem simple enough:

1. Give a few hints. Smile at him when you see him, look good when you walk by him, if he looks at you in class then he probably likes you back.
2. Look at his friends. If he is with his friends and they are all looking at you then he probably likes you.
3. Tell him. If you don't think he likes you then just build up the confidence and tell him.
4. Tell a friend if you're scared. If you dont feel so confident then tell a friend
5. Wait. If he has a girlfriend then you can't go out with him so you will just have to see what happens.
6. Get to know him better. Maybe if he becomes your friend, he might notice who you really are.

It's always funny when I find myself thinking "When I was your age...but seriously?!?! We have six steps to tell us how to spill our guts? What happened to the days of passing that GLORIOUS note "Do you like me? Yes or No?" I know the internet has brought us some wonderful things...email...information at the touch of a button...free porn...but I feel that something like this is just wrong on so many levels. A person is supposed to fail miserably the first couple of times without any help at all right?....Not that I've ever told anyone how much I love them. Guess I shouldn't talk....Gotta go look up how to kiss a boy without locking our braces together now.

Every Girl Online is fat, ugly, and unsexy.

Just found this column and think it's Great. Violet Blue writes for just about every publication you can think of, and in this talks about the trollers on the net, who seem to get off knocking the "ugly girls."

I just write and talk about sex. But every woman on the Internet gets called slutty and ugly and fat (to put it lightly) no matter what; all we have to be is female. In dinner conversation, my friend Lori reminded me of the Oscar Wilde quote, "Give a man a mask, and he'll tell you the truth." I restated it for the Internet, replying, "Give a man a mask, and he'll slit your throat." The application here is, "Give a man (or a woman) an anonymous account, and he'll eviscerate your self-esteem."

The problem is, with so many women I talk to, the trolling is effective. The number of times I've talked down a crying girlfriend after she's been trolled in her comments about being fat, ugly, skanky, slutty or stupid is higher than I can count (no matter what she writes about). Trolls watch too much mainstream porn and TV, and believe stereotypes are real; they slap us with it and then we believe it, too. We compare ourselves to overly thin models, actresses, and porn stars, and it messes with our self-image and our ability to express ourselves sexually, and especially to enjoy sex.

She goes on to talk about Margaret Cho....
"In Margaret Cho's "Beautiful" tour, she talks about recently being on a radio show and having the host ask her point-blank, live, on the air, "What if you woke up one day, and you were beautiful?" When asked, he defined beautiful as blonde, thin, large-breasted, a porno stereotype. Cho says, "Just think of what life is like for this poor guy. There's beauty all around him in the world, and he can only see the most narrow definition of it."

All in all, it's a great column.

Born Standing Up

A long time fan of Steve Martin (I declared he would be my new stepdad in the first grade after watching Parenthood), I was psyched to start reading his (kind of) new autobiography Born Standing Up. After reading multiple interviews with him, I knew he seemed like a pretty private guy, so I was curious as to what would be discussed in the book.

It was actually much more than what I expected. Unlike other autobiographies I've read, Martin seems truly grounded to what made him the way he is as well as to what got him to the place he is today. He recalls the days he was struggling, not pointing a finger and why he wasn't successful yet, but with a certain relish for those days. Sure it was shitty but it was fun!

I'm especially glad that I read this at this time in my life, when I'm just starting out and finding my own footing in life, similar to Martin experimenting with his comedy. A friend and I joked that everything we're experiencing now, could end up in our own autobiographies. So I guess we shall see.

Anyway, if you're a fan of Martin, I'd definitely recommend the book. Even if you're not, it's still an interesting read. If anything, it will make you appreciate comedians. It's amazing to think of what went into a single act.